Prometheus

How  I  long to be challenged by you, the way you make me think about things in a different way.  You help me become someone I am not,  yet at the same time you help me find myself.  You have been away for so long but that may all change soon, I got the taste of you in my mouth and it filled my mind with the possibilities.  I never want you alone, you come promised with new blood, but you have done that before. You have teased and toiled with me on countless times.  Often I lay shattered as you let me experience you, then you unfurl your wings and go unto the wind.  If I can not have you how I want you then there is only one thing left for me, I must create you.  Reap down into my soul and bring fourth the essence give you life.  After your first breath I will let you wonder and choose what destiny you wish to create.  For so long I have tried too hard to control you, to limit you.  You have learned to hate me, but this time will be different.  You will be in control of yourself, I will watch you flourish and prosper as you change the webs of fate.  You will have the power to create and destroy, they will learn to love you as I do.

Injured

I am a fixer, if its broken I try to fix it.  If its not broken I still try to fix it.  When it comes to something that I can not fix I do not deal with it well.  I feel helpless, useless, depressed, and end up just shutting down.  This is the worse feeling and there is nothing that I can really do.  It may fix itself but what if it does not?  What am I to do then?  I may never have any kids so I have adopted my other animals as my family and I feel very strongly about them and protective.  How helpless I feel when I can make something better.  I don't think I could handle being a parent and feel helpless in such a situation.

Fire

Why do I do this to myself, why must I get involved things that I should not be.  I have enough of my own shit to worry about to deal with someone else's.  I am very angry, It is very hard on me not to just throttle someone to make me feel better.  I like to think I am a passive person, but sometimes others have a way to get to me.  Interrupting or muttering while I am trying to talk and explain my side.   I need to let off anger.  I really do have my self sometimes for making things worse.  Maybe that's why I so often want to be alone in the quiet so I don't screw things up and make situations worse.  I wish I did not care as much as I do and the worse is that I care more than people even know.  If I don't care then I don't get involved.  I just need to get away from it all, to forget myself and disappear.

Something New

I miss camping, I used to do it all the time but recently its been once a year if I am lucky.  Well coming up soon I get a chance to test myself, primitive camping.  A few friends of mine are going to venture out into the woods with clothes, knives, flint and steel and a little food and spend 2 days.  I know it does not seem that hard but this is like a mini excursion and we are planning a bigger one.  It will be nice to get away for a while and settle my nerves.  I used to do it all the time and the lack of communing with nature has taken its toll.  Also it will be nice to test myself, I know I used to be able to do it and i wonder if I can now.  I wonder if we will be able to dig that trench like we want.   

On another note why is it that girls look so hot sucking on a candy cane and guys... well eww.

Troubles

Everyone has pains of the heart and they all handle them differently.  Some close up and try to suppress it while others just let it all out hoping they will get some sort of resolution so they can move on.  Does anyone know why things that happened in the long past that you have moved on from can get re lit and become just as intense if not more so than they would before?  Does time truly heal all wounds or or just hide them enough so others can get a semblance of peace?  How do you console someone so hurt, you can never really understand why they feel what they do even if you have been there yourself.   I really don't feel that time heals wounds but  just makes them worse.  The only thing I have found that helps is the love and support of friends, with out that then what else is there?

Runes

I have followed the use of Runes by others yet they never seemed to really work all well to me.  As of late I have felt the urge to try again and every time I pull it is right on, the skeptic side of me is having a hard time with that one.  

The End

It's scary how you can be doing your normal routine in life and one chance happening can come down and destroy everything.  Your life as you know it is over.

Whispers

Walking through the halls I hear the echoes of every step.  Taking pleaure in the lonelyness and letting it fill the voids left in me.  Being ripped asunder thousands of times over the century has left me intolerable of any of their minor annoyances.  There was an unexpected result, it left me stonger mentally and greatly reduced the trivial emotions that others have come to hold dear.  They are weak and so easily influenced, their frail flesh and timid minds will be of use to me yet.  

Wait what is that, that noise... no... whispers.   How could they have found me, they have been silent for so long.  The nonsensable mutters behind me, I just want to be alone.  The anger and haterid is growing.  Must I sacrifice more of them to quite the wispers, they come to me.  I will destroy them, no I will convert them and have them suffer along with me.

Feeling Alone

I feel alone, not in a physical sense but in another.  I have several sides to me that all form together to define who I am.  One of those sides feels alone, I have no one to relate to on that aspect.  At this time it does not appear to negatively affect me but, I am unaware of the long term outcome.  I guess time will tell if I learn to just cut that side out all together, maybe that will make me more normal.

Predictions

I don't think I am that predictable, you on the other hand think that you can read me like an open book.  I admit there are things about me that you may be able correctly predict, but you are often wrong.  Why should I tell you of your mistakes, you don't handle fault well.  I can hear it now, some subterfuge gurgling from your lips as to how you really understood and that this was all in your plan.  If I am to discover things about me on a daily basis how can you know what lies beneath.  It is all just a cover, to shield your own inadequacies from carnivorous eyes. Confidence is the shroud of the weak.