I don’t game just for fun, but for the necessity of it. To escape the troubles of reality. When I first started it was all a fantasy game, you were someone unknown and through adventures you became more. You became a hero, someone that others will remember. In all that’s why we do what we do so we can be remembered. We have children to remember us, we strive to reach high goals so others can remember us. Over the years I have realized that is not how life really is, you will be forgotten. Some sooner than others but none the less. Now the games take on a darker feel, no longer do we strive to achieve great things to be remembered. We do things to feel like we are needed and wanted, to make a difference no matter how small. It allows us to release more of ourselves than we can in real life. I can speak for myself that I have issues feeling needed or wanted. I am sure this is a condition caused by me, outside I know this is not the case. I know I am needed and wanted, still not as much as I want but there is something. I do feel alone though, sometimes I want to be alone in a sense. I enjoy being around people but my mind is separate. Others laugh and joke and have a good time enjoying life, I just sit and observe. I don’t express emotions or feelings like I used to, I got too tired of explaining it all so I rather show nothing. In game no one asks you how your feeling, there is no time as there is a goal. Something you must do out of need. I want to expand the realities of game and provide a more immersive experience, just like movies with control of actions. I can not get this in real life so I must keep busy, projects and hobbies fill my life to keep my brain active so I can not sit and waller in self pity. Game is not just an idle fancy, but a true need for some of us.
